Luigi Bastardo

So bad, it makes “It’s Pat” look like a classic.

VCI wisely pairs up two forgotten curiosities — and the results are pleasing.

Luc Besson amalgamates all of his previous films into one.

A wacky half-giallo/half-horror offering from Lamberto Bava.

It’s Dolph Lundgren vs. the Renaissance Faire rejects.

CFS Releasing drops the ball by giving us an out-of-sync Glenn Ford.

Wait, Bogie? As a priest? Well, not quite.

A superb guide for all future filmmakers of the world: “Don’t let this happen to you.”

Criterion brings us a lovely HD release of Ernst Lubitsch’s 1933 romantic comedy.

“To avoid fainting, keep repeating: ‘It’s only a movie… It’s only a movie’.”

Riccardo Freda’s final outing is a wonderfully wacky mess of mayhem.

A fine pairing of World War II quickies.

A strange but unbalanced combination of noir and comedy from the makers of Enter the Dragon.

Reality and fantasy collide in Richard Rush’s masterful epic.

The Criterion Collection brings us a constructive release of this reconstructed classic.

A forgotten “fish out of water” tale from the boys in the Band family.

An epic, illustrious failure from Cannon Films and Golan-Globus.

A low-budget Seven Samurai made for the 007 market and starring Jack Palance as the good guy. What’s not to like?

An uproarious parody of classic horror/sci-fi films that’s been given a sizeable dose of supercrack.

Twilight Time brings us a beautiful transfer for a rather underrated remake of the John Ford classic.

Where the hell is Franco Nero when you need him?

An adroit tale of an American sharpshooter in the Australian Outback.

The Definitive Version.

We all die Malone and afraid.

Director Dante Goes on the Lam from All the Beastliness.

A must for fans of absolute nonsense and misguided edification.

If you’ve ever seen some of the god-awful movies that independent film studio Crown International Pictures released like The Beast of Yucca Flats, The Creeping Terror, or They Saved Hitler’s Brain, you may have pondered the age-old question: “What they fuck were these guys thinking?” Well, while the more “traditional” film historians out there will…

A seminar in embarrassment with Prof. Ray Liotta, Dr. Ving Rhames, and Christian Slater.

Not to be confused with My Cousin Vinnie.

Twilight Time releases the never-before-released cult classic to DVD as a limited exclusive.

Hey Sugar: do do that voodoo that you do so well!

They should have included a free pooper-scooper, so that it could be disposed of properly.

Guaranteed to have you waltzing in to take a hot shower once it’s over.

Alain Silver and James Ursini have revised their already wonderful book to include several recent entries of vampire lore.

Is that red face paint you’re wearing, or are you really that embarrassed to be in this movie?

A fine-looking transfer that sadly, lacks any remarkable features.

Why should Disney put any effort into a film that couldn’t even get its own story straight to begin with?

I’ll stick to Forbidden Planet if it’s all the same to you.

We just passed platinum and went straight on to the diamond level, baby!

Bill Cosby and Robert Culp are positively stellar in this ignored, neo-noir detective story.

MGM’s MOD DVD-R is A-OK.

The best U.S. western ever to be inspired by a Japanese flick (and its lousy first sequel).

“Henry’s Crime” is something of a crime in itself.

A movie so surreal, even Luis Buñuel would scratch his head and say “No comprende.”

A terrible kiddie movie that shamelessly rips off several other terrible kiddie movies.

Hey, this isn’t the Jerry Mathers biopic!

Harry Callahan gets split into Starsky & Hutch and injected with every Italian stereotype in the book.

In short: good movie, bad release.

Makes for decent, mid-afternoon “I’m stuck in a hotel with nothing else to do and this is all that’s on” fodder.

Dammit all, I thought this was “Skate Land”!