Thoughtful & Abstract: The Walking Dead: “Go-Getters”

In which Carl has his first date and kiss. And nothing else happens.

Kim: So, once again we all tune in to The Walking Dead and once again I’m left with feelings of anger and resentment for episode #(I don’t really care), with the not-so-fitting name. I keep waiting for it to get better. I keep waiting for it to draw me in. It’s just not doing any of that this season. In fact, there are really only two things I feel I need to talk about in regards to this episode. I’ll give you my thoughts and then you can go about your day knowing that I’m not above bitch-slapping a show I used to be so happy about.

Good thing #1: Kung-Fu Jesus! This was, hands down, the absolute best thing in this episode. First and foremost, you’ve gotta love his beard. You just have to. After that, you have to admire his eyes. Don’t forget the hair. Now, watch him slide down that column, maybe watch it three or four times. Then, watch his sweet moves for the rest of that scene and what you’ve got is the best thing on The Walking Dead since…well crap, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anything this great on this show. It’s enough to make me forget that his character’s name is actually Paul. Thank you, Tom Payne, for being so easy on the eyes.

Good thing #2: Maggie straightening out Gregory. All I’ve got to say about this is, “you go, girl!” Ain’t nobody on this show got time for misogyny and Maggie certainly isn’t going to let it slide once she’s hit her breaking point. Ah, Maggie Rhee! You’ve always had that in you and I’m pretty happy you let it out on that quivering waste of space, Gregory.

Now, let me tell you some of the most unbelievable things in this episode. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go into detail, but…

1.) Roller skates and not roller blades? Seriously? And they happen to fit our horny teens?

2.) If Rick is off getting supplies and Michonne is off doing stuff and things and Carl leaves town prior to obtaining his driver’s license, who’s taking care of Judith?

3.) Furthermore, who let Carl out? With a car?

4.) Where do the Saviors obtain the gas for their 38 box trucks that they take everywhere?

5.) Don’t the Saviors know that if you continually show up and take half of everything, there’s not going to be anything left? Apparently, the area surrounding Alexandria is rife with all kinds of supplies if everyone keeps going out and getting them and giving huge chunks to the Saviors. This goes hand in hand with the number of trucks they show up with. Ridiculous! There’s not that much shit to be gotten.

I read recently that the next two episodes will be extended ones. I’m not overly happy about this because it seems to me that when you do a longer episode, it just means more commercials and we wind up with only about seven more minutes of action than normal. And by action, I mean people doing really boring crap because this is a painfully slow season.

I was trying to figure out what has happened to this show, and I don’t know enough about the inner workings to know if the writers have changed, if the producers and show runner just want it to go in a different direction, or if they’re building off of the pacing in Season 6 because not enough people are voicing their displeasure about it. I really couldn’t tell you what has happened. But I can tell you it’s really getting difficult for me to give up the time in my schedule to watch this as it airs. At this point, I’m really looking forward to the mid-season break. So, if you’re taking suggestions, TWD, I’d like to propose an episode that is all Jerry and Jesus, seeing as they’re the only two things on this show that I’m enjoying this season. Please and thank you.

Shawn: You covered the basics for me. The continued loss of interest is correlated to the lack of zombies for me. Maybe it speaks to my general dislike of people. I did observe a few other things.

It’s funny that Carl sucks at darts. You know the whole one eye and depth perception and everything. But we spent so much time on it with the lingering camera that I half expected little arrows to come out and point towards the darts and red text to crawl across the scene saying “remember this for later.” So obviously Carl is going to have to shoot something or someone and miss and that will be the end of our mid-season? This show has gotten lazy about telegraphing clues to the viewers.

I disagree about the roller skates in that they are making a comeback over roller blades. I don’t disagree that it felt incongruous and out of character. I’ve never bought the chemistry between Carl and Enid. The relationship always felt like puppy love from Carl who has now become a bit of an annoying rebellious teenager. Enid has felt like she has a story that still hasn’t come to light. The skating was weird and the kiss even more so. I don’t buy the attraction as anything more than “welp, we’re the only two teens for miles so here we go.”

Jesus is an attractive man, but his beard is too clean and a little boring for the apocalypse. Rick appears to be grooming his facial hair back into shape too. What you really left out was that awesome mustache on Simon. That perfectly mouth-framing Southern masterpiece just shouted small county Alabama. Simon played the role of almost-Negan to Gregory’s almost-Rick. We were just reimagining a scene that might have been cut from last week’s episode. Simon, you are no Negan. That mustache though was the one positive thing we can all take away from this.

The Hilltop is the most boring of the four “towns” left in Virginia. We didn’t need 62 minutes to prove that. How boring. Even the zombies are just half-hearted about eating the living here. I saw at least three of them throwing themselves under Maggie’s tractor just to relieve the boredom.

Maggie standing up to Gregory was the “hell yeah” moment of the episode and other than Carl’s bad aim probably the only thing that matters going forward.

“That’s a solid kneel.” Gregory really goes all out in his submission. You think everyone is tired of Rick’s crap, just imagine you voted for Gregory based on his promises of draining the swamp and a registry for all Saviors. And now you get this joker. You look out your window at night and there’s music blaring, fires burning, and all kinds of zombies walking through the fence you had the walking dead pay to have built.

I hope there is enough time in the back of that truck for Ninja Jesus to teach One-Eyed Carl his awesome zombie judo. Jesus seems far too reasonable to ever have been a Pence for Gregory.

You’re right about the time investment. The show has been a little plodding. Even the internal logic of the characters have taken a wrong turn. How wrong has it become? Even Michonne was like, I gotta take a walk and figure this crap out. At least she got some sugar on the way out the door. What’d I get? A halfway decent shot of Maggie in skinny jeans. Let’s leave on that.

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Shawn Bourdo

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