Thoughtful & Abstract: The Walking Dead: “East”

In which Shawn and Kim mostly just worry about what’s going to happen next week.

Shawn: I fear that we wouldn’t enjoy the great episodes of the past few weeks (and essentially all of this season) if we didn’t get clunkers like this one. The show still hasn’t reached a perfect season and this is one that will keep it short of that this season. I will keep it short and I won’t bring up Daryl because I know he’s yours.

1. ) THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT. I don’t know what it sounded like to you when Morgan and Rick were talking on your TV but here’s what I got.

MORGAN: So I was going to kill a guy, I didn’t kill a guy and then he saved a doctor.
RICK: Yeah, it was that Ashton Kutcher film. Like that?
MORGAN: You mean Just Married where he had to live with Cameron Diaz?
RICK: No, you are thinking of What Happens In Vegas. Where they eventually learn to work together.
MORGAN: Like us, buddy.
RICK: Actually I think it’s more like Final Destination that what’s going to happen will happen.
MORGAN: You’re right. Life is like Final Destination 5. The one with that woman that looks like Amy.
RICK: Want to share a protein bar?

2.) MAGGIE’S BOTTOM. And everything from that moment forward leads me to believe that we are not going to see Glenn or Maggie make another season. I used to lean towards Maggie not surviving childbirth. Now I’m back to thinking that Glenn never reunites with his beloved Mags. That shower is a good last happy moment and as tender a moment as I can recall between the two. I find it hard to believe that from a motivation point of view that Glenn would leave her at this point. After all they’ve been through and the recent scares is he really going to turn his back and leave her at this point? It didn’t fit for me.

3.) GUARDS DOWN. I get it. Didn’t we have this exact episode last season? There’s sex to show that the group is relaxed and letting their guard down. Then they act impulsively and split up. The minute I saw the group all going in different directions I got that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Splitting up didn’t work for the Hobbits and it never seems to go well for our group. Are we counting on Carol to ride in and rescue us again?

4.) YOU’LL BE ALL RIGHT. I have to just address this quickly. I don’t think Daryl is completely safe as far as the main characters go. But I don’t think he goes out off-screen like that. They respect the main characters much more than that. Just like Glenn wouldn’t die under a pile of zombies, Daryl wouldn’t be shot in the last second of the show and then just be dead. I bet it was his shoulder and if he dies it will be at the end of the episode next week.

5. ) HOSTAGE OF THE WEEK. What would an episode this season be if one of our team didn’t get captured? This has been the biggest bunch of crap this season as to how easily our group keeps getting snuck up on and taken hostage. Hey, team. Look behind you. There’s probably a Savior or any of the other groups that seem to be roaming the VA countryside.

They are allowed to waste an hour with a whole five minutes worth of story. But now lets get back to it for the last 90 minutes. What did you glean from it?

Kim: Fear The Walking Dead is not just another show; it’s the feelings I have leading up to next week. This season has fallen fairly flat for me, and I’m wondering if that’s because they’re about to devastate me next week. I’m not saying it hasn’t had its moments and even an episode or two that made me wish I had rubber pants, but I’ve often felt like the kid who falls off of the merry-go-round and gets right back on, hoping for that dizzy feeling to take over and make my day complete. I just keep climbing on, mostly because I like that cute boy that’s pushing it around and around, even if he does just want to pull my hair. (Which would be an OK thing for Daryl to do, mind you.)

You brought up the circular comparisons made by Morgan. I’m going to counter that on the opposite side, because he was trying to prove that every life is precious. I’m going to point out that Dwight’s isn’t precious. Daryl should have killed him in the forest when he had the chance. But because he didn’t, Denise is dead, there are four people in serious danger, and now he’s apparently got a bum shoulder. At least I’m guessing it was his shoulder. Oh, Daryl. You and your bleeding heart (and shoulder. Keep saying “shoulder” and it will be so). I’m actually a little bit confused at how Dwight has outsmarted my boy three times now. He just doesn’t seem to be the type who is all that skilled. I have a hard time picturing my wily redneck getting duped by the same little shit. I hope Daryl kills the hell out of Dwight.

I do need to talk about Daryl’s spiral. I think we have to go all the way back to Beth to see the entire picture. Beth softened him and it’s been a steady downhill slide of feelings and thinking people are good. What would Merle think? Use your head, little brother! Also – I hope that if he lives, this doesn’t detract from me seeing those arms when he’s on. I also really hope it never gets so cold that he has to wear a sweatshirt on the regular. That would be disappointing. But he’s not going to die. No, no, no. Seriously though? I think he might. He’s on a bit of a self-blaming trip and I fear he might wind up sacrificing himself after shouldering all of the blame. See what I did there?

The top of Maggie’s ass was lovely, but I keep getting side-tracked with the thoughts of Abraham saying, “Make room for my freckled ass,” and I just laugh and giggle. Smoke your cigar, Big Red. There’s going to be some serious work for you soon, and I don’t mean laying pipe with Sasha. He’s still coming with the funny quips and that’s what I’ve come to expect from him. I don’t want him all lovey dovey like Rick and Michonne.

Speaking of, I want you fully aware of the apple sharing. A couple of things. First, there is no way to be lying down and eating an apple without it juicing all over your face. I know, I’ve tried. Second, I’m betting there is some symbolism here. However, in the Bible, Eve did give Adam the apple, first sin, all of that. Could this be some kind of foreshadowing of Rick committing a some huge sin and damning the community to live under the Savior’s rule? I don’t know. I just don’t know. Where is Jesus when I need him? So yes, we get Glenn and Maggie having a shower moment, Rick and Michonne having a bed moment, and you just know that this is all coming crashing down hard.

Now, it’s obvious that wherever Negan and the Saviors are holed up, they’re not all that far from Alexandria. So how is it that they are just getting around to figuring out it exists? I don’t really understand this. It would seem to me that Alexandria was ripe for the picking before the original band of survivors ever got there. And hey, when Aaron and his guy were out roaming the country side looking for people to invite back, how come they never ran into the survivors? This is a storyline that will eventually pay off, but getting there is a huge stretch for me. I just have all of the questions and I’m pretty sure they’re never getting answered.

So we all know Negan is coming and we have everything going to shit at one time. Morgan’s on his own. Daryl, Rosita, Glenn, and Michonne are in trouble. Maggie is in trouble. Enid randomly appeared in this episode. Carl has only one eye. Carol is out playing hide and seek, assuming the role of a Boondock Saint. There are people looking for horses. Tara hasn’t come back. There is no one to provide any medical care to anyone who may need it, unless they go to Hilltop. Jesus isn’t performing miracles. Who’s watching Judith? Father Gabriel is probably still around. Eugene too. I don’t really know anyone else’s names. I don’t think it matters.

I’m ready for 90 minutes of adrenaline. I’m not ready for anyone to die. At least no one I really like, but I think that’s probably how this will go. I’m just going to call in sick to work on Monday so that I’ll have time to lick my wounds, because I’m certain it will be that devastating.

I’m not going to be all right, liar.

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Shawn Bourdo

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