In which Shawn and Kim try to figure out who is accountable for the mess over the past few weeks.
Shawn: Always accountable? Someone’s got to answer to this week’s episode. Here’s my thoughts on what little happened.
1.) C’mon!!! That’s what I seem to say every other week. Like an impatient kid on the way to Disneyland – I don’t want to stop off to see the world’s biggest amethyst. And I really know I don’t need to know diabetes girl, cuffed-jeans guy, and his bad babysitter girlfriend. They are so throw away that the only name I remembered was Patty. I’m impatient to get everyone back together and maybe that’s because these sidetrack shows just aren’t worthy of full hours. Daryl is pretty but he’s sharing it with Sasha and Abraham who can barely pull a five-minute interesting conversation for me.
2.) I don’t really get the “use” of the threesome. In the end, it feels like a waste of time. We know that they started the forest fire to kill the zombies. Now I really don’t even remember when that fire occurred in the big scheme of things. So that only served to show that they oops, killed some kids. Daryl asked them Rick’s questions which is cute. That just showed us how ignorant the two are of what is really going on. How have you lasted that long and not killed others? And the whole “we take what we earn” is obviously bullcrap and wasn’t even ironically funny then when they took Daryl’s bike and crossbow. This idea of “ownership” in the current universe is quite laughable.
3.) I’ll address the popular subject de jour of that episode. What does the last 20 seconds mean? Who is on the other end of the walkie? I’m interested to hear your theories. I mainly know who I think it isn’t. Mainly it’s not Glenn. In no way do I hear his voice and does the timeline make sense to me for him to be saying it then. I don’t think it’s Rick either although we have an untold story there from the RV. I also don’t think it’s our duo on Daryl’s bike – not Southern enough accent. So I’m down to it being a totally new group or my most likely option is that the wall didn’t hold back at Alexandria. We saw the blood leaking through before and I’m thinking that this is morning for Daryl and that the wall breaking is the thing that will bring everyone back together.
4.) I’m still bothered with Daryl. After everything you’ve been through, buddy, you trusted people? Why turn back? And how are they keeping that insulin cool anyways? Ever put six beers in one of those coolers? You are drinking four piss warm ones before you are through.
5.) I haven’t decided if I’m down with a Sasha-and-Abraham romance just yet. They are both pretty broken still. His backstory is ripe to be fleshed out (but not in its own episode please!). He’s quite the loose cannon still. But it’s hard for a lady to resist a guy in a Confederate uniform with his own RPG.
6.) Lastly. The song told us that you don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. And for gosh sakes you don’t take Daryl’s crossbow.
Two more to bring this all together.
Kim: [Big-ass sigh] When do we officially declare that this show has jumped the shark? After an incredible opening couple of episodes, I have to say the series has slid downhill faster than a kid on a greased-up sled trying to get to the hot chocolate at the bottom of the hill.
Because I have very little to say, I’m going to make my one or two points, comment on yours, and then hit it out of the ballpark.
A.) If I wanted character development in situations where character should not be being developed, I’d watch an after-school special. In fact, that might be more entertaining than whatever it is they’re trying to do here. I’ve watched Spanish soap operas that were more intriguing. And I don’t speak Spanish.
B.) The only thing I can say with certainty is that Norman Reedus has been working out a lot more since the series first started. His arms are still the most beautiful thing about the apocalypse.
Now, onto your thoughts, because they’re similar to mine in subject, but completely different in scope.
1.) The world’s biggest amethyst is The Empress of Uruguay. It resides in Australia and weighs 2,500 KG. You’re welcome. My point? You can’t see that on the way to Disneyland from where you are, much like you can’t see what everyone else involved in the walker parade was up to in a linear fashion. I don’t think any of the last three episodes deserved their own show. I get that you have to detour to see some cool shit sometimes, but if it’s not furthering the storyline, I really don’t want to spend an hour on it. Especially on a Sunday, when I have to work the next day. I didn’t even get to see the scenes from the next episode or The Talking Dead because of an ill-timed new series premier. The Sasha-Abraham scenes I’m going to address in #5. Hang tight.
2.) “We earned what we took!” Shit, lady. That’s what you earned. That’s what you’ll take. That’s what you’ll get for taking Daryl’s stuff. And that’s how I feel about these people. So, we spend an inordinate amount of time on these three, have Daryl go back to save the one because she needs insulin, only to have her die, and Bonnie and Clyde steal his shit as a thank you? Introduce the Saviors in a different way, because if I don’t see those two bound, gagged, and being beaten with Lucille, I’m pretty much not going to be very happy.
3.) The voice on the radio. Some people say it yells, “No!” but I hear “Help!” I don’t think it’s Glenn. I originally thought it was Rick, and this was a time jump – he was calling for help from the RV. But after listening to it several times, I have two theories:
- It’s Carl because he’s not in the house, but out looking for Enid and got himself into some shit. Shocker.
or
- It’s someone we haven’t seen yet and they’ve either got Glenn and his radio, have gotten into Alexandria, or have their own radio and are on the same channel, trying to lure them somewhere.
I’m actually going to go with the latter and they have their own radio, on the same channel, because this makes about as much sense as the rest of this season so far.
4.) Please remember Daryl’s new lease on life, that they’re still going to look for new people. Come on, man, they set that up in the “previously” piece. Daryl proved he’s a good guy and that he can, in fact, read. He can also comprehend that without insulin, someone in that group dies. I don’t know about keeping it cold either, but at some point, you’ve gotta assume something is better than nothing.
5.) I want to know when Abraham and Rosita broke up. I don’t remember that happening. Do you? I recall them having some pretty sweet sex while Eugene played the part of the voyeur. What happened after that? Like the rest of the season, I feel like I’m missing an awful lot of information here. Also, Abraham looked ridiculous and is, quite possibly, delusional. This can be the only explanation for the rambling conversations that seem to go nowhere and lead me to a place where I wanted to fall asleep in the middle of the show. I mean, my kid did and he looked so peaceful, curled up on the end of the couch. Stop this now!
6.) Daryl’s crossbow is like a boomerang. He always gets it back. People just need to stop messing with his shit. Claimed!
I guess I’ll sum it all up by saying this show is quickly losing me with uninteresting stories and sideline characters that don’t do much but get in the way of what we want to see. This was, quite simply, a filler episode and something they should be ashamed of. This is not The Walking Dead. This is Fear The Walking Dead on Xanax. A giant snooze fest. I’m pretty sure I could have skipped it and not been lost whenever it is we get back to the good stuff. Much like the dude who got his arm chopped off. He bitched about it for a minute then even he was bored with the entire thing.
All in all, this isn’t even lukewarm. It’s barely room temperature at a time where I’m contemplating turning the heat on for the first time this year. You expect an episode or two to fall flat, much like Daryl’s hair; however, this is at least three in a row. I’m ready to be wowed again. The way this show’s been running this season, I guess I’ll have to wait for Carol in order to have that happen.
Verdict: No one is accountable.
