From the Couch Hole: The World Survives Into Another Day

Previously on FTCH, the bad monkey would jump at the alien resurrection. We would speak no evil about Korean-style Ruffles and we would sing sing about Infinite Swirl. This week puts a merciful end to August and the busiest work month of my year. Now we can turn our attention to important things like college football and playoff baseball. I’ll spend tomorrow on the road to see Caleb at college. This week the Amityville awakening happens on the Romulus. The Aliens and Predators go up against the robots who are wondering where the lions are. Remember, at FTCH, once you pop, you can’t stop!

Pop Culture Ephemera

• Alien: Romulus (2024) (Directed by Fede Alvarez): “The solution for a claustrophobic astronaut is to give him more space.” – Andy. We heard that this was a “return to the basics” with a director that appreciated the original couple of films. It’s difficult to tell a story set in the middle of a series after eight previous films. By “return to basics,” I’m assuming that means that there’s an established Aliens checklist to be followed. There’s face-huggers that fly at the faces of unsuspecting humans, chest bursters, baby aliens that scurry away. and the traditional alien crawling along the ceiling to surprise the human attack.
  
  Cailee Spaeny (Civil War) is a great choice for the lead. She could easily helm a couple other entries in this franchise. David Jonsson plays the Synthetic of the Week in this film, and his performance has more depth than we’ve come to expect from Artificial Humans. It’s so good that it makes the evolution to Winona Ryder look not advanced enough. It’s enjoyable enough, but when you spend so much time reminding us that you watched the earlier films, the creativity suffers. There’s no need to repeat lines from a previous film when you could make us think more by giving an alternative take. This film ranks somewhere in the middle range of the series (there’s a close competition for the spots 3-5)

Buy Doctor Who: Tom Baker Complete First Season Blu-ray

• Doctor Who – “Robot – Part Three” (1975) (S.12 E.3) (BBC): “A few months ago, the superpowers, Russia, America, and China, decided upon a plan to ensure peace.” – Brigadier Stewart. This is only three episodes into the Tom Baker run as the Doctor. It’s the first episode where it feels like we have a vision of how the next seasons will proceed. I have liked Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen) since her debut, but now it feels like she has a more defined role. Tom Baker’s Doctor is much more eccentric and humorous from the start. Sarah Jane takes on more of a detective role along with UNIT. The robot of the title is not a great special effect, but there are these touches where he shows some emotion especially around Sarah that make this a decent story so far. This political thriller is a great start to Baker’s legend.

Buy Bruce Cockburn – Dancing in the Dragon’s Jaws CD

• Bruce Cockburn – “Wondering Where the Lions Are” (1979) (from Dancing in the Dragon’s Jaws): “I had another dream about lions at the door / They weren’t half as frightening as the day before.” I didn’t discover the politically aware Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn until the early 1990s. There’s something about this song that spoke to me. It’s inspired by a conflict between Russia and China that could have led to nuclear war. I am drawn to the life-affirming aspects of coming to terms with conflict. The world isn’t as frightening as we like to imagine. “The world survive unto another day.”

• Alien vs. Predator (2004) (Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson): “So, the humanoids, the hunters, they brought those creatures here to hunt?” – Alexa. I don’t like to give this film the cool moniker that it has tried to cultivate with AVP. The first thing is that if you are going to set an alien monster film in Antarctica and it doesn’t involve The Thing, then I am already calling BS on your film. This turns out to be the worst Alien film (as of 2004) and the second best Predator film (as of 2004). As much as I wanted to love a film with Lance Henriksen, the humans aren’t in the title because they are just a vessel to get us to the titular battle. The biggest issue I have is that since Alien 3 (1992), the Aliens have turned into Jurassic Park raptors. They run and attack like the dinosaurs from their monster film distant cousin. The Monsterverse films have adapted this stylized fighting with quick cuts and booming soundtrack. I don’t find this film a good evolution of either series.

• Amityville: The Awakening (2017) (Directed by Franck Khalfoun): “God gave up on us, sweetheart, so I gave up on God.” – Joan. There are a few series that come to mind that dropped off so precipitously from the original to the line of sequels. I’d put Jaws (1975) and Poltergeist (1982) in that category. You can make a claim for The Amityville Horror (1979) to be on that list even if the original is good but not great like the other ones. It appears that this is the tenth of at least twelve films in the series.
  
  I was mostly curious to check out a recent Jennifer Jason Leigh film after her excellent performance in Fargo (FX). The cast wasn’t terrible, including Bella Thorne, Mckenna Grace, and Cameron Monaghan. Add to that the Blumhouse producers on Insidious (2010) and The Purge (2013), and I thought how bad could it be. It was that bad. I thought that the more meta elements of the plot would create something more creative. In the film. The Amityville murders happened, but also the books and movies about the murders exist (even the awful remake). What follows is a rehash of the stereotypes of the first film without anything clever being added. The jumps are predictable and the major sin committed is that it’s just not that interesting. The cast is mismanaged; good actors are turned into cardboard characters. Now I’m going to go figure out how my guess of four films in the series was so far off from reality.

Best of the Rest

• Jimmy Buffet did a cover of “Wondering Where the Lions Are” for the movie adaptation of the Carl Hiaasen novel Hoot (2006). It didn’t have the same impact for me. I much more enjoyed the smooth sound of Leo Sayer covering the song. He doesn’t try to do much with the arrangement, but his voice is always “happy” for me. I really like it more than I can say.

• I had given up years ago on the Gary Dauberman (IT) version of Salem’s Lot making it to the big screen. Much like the shelved version of Batgirl, this seemed destined to live in infamy. It appears that it has been given more production money and will see a release on Max in October. Dauberman had some good instincts with King as he wrote the adaptation for IT. This is one of my favorite King titles, and I’m happy that he is sticking with the ’70s setting, which makes the remoteness of the story make much more logical sense. I’m a Day One viewer for this project.

Buy Salem’s Lot paperback

• Lay’s has recently released some “Inspired by” flavors. There are three that I should be finding naturally in the wild, but I haven’t happened upon them yet. I might need someone with a Costco membership to snag me this exclusive flavor. I’m very curious about the honey butter flavor. They list it as Korean, but I know it’s been popular in Canada also.

Sunday Morning Tuneage Flashback

• On the Sunday Morning Tuneage from 2/28/2009, it was the rare “Saturday Morning Tuneage” because I was leaving for Austin. For the life of me, I can’t remember much about the why’s and wherefore’s of this trip. My #57 Favorite Movie of All-Time was Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003). I’m sure I can find room for two Lord of the Rings films in my Top 100, but I’m not sure if this would be one of those. Upon multiple further viewings, this film is just too bloated for the story. I could edit out an hour and make it just as thrilling. I felt that Lost (ABC) and Heroes (NBC) were just spinning their wheels. The best news was that Ashes To Ashes (BBC) was finally coming to American television. My Top Ten list was one that could possibly gone through quite a bit of change since I debuted it here.
  • TOP TEN STAR WARS CHARACTERS OF ALL-TIME (2009)
    • 10. C-3PO: I love him, but there’s a reason Alfred doesn’t go on adventures with Batman.
    • 9. Count Dooku / Darth Tyranus: Christopher Lee!!
    • 8. Grand Moff Tarkin: I’d love to be a Grand Moff. It sounds stellar.
    • 7. Boba Fett
    • 6. Admiral Ackbar: Damn, a lobster-clawed dude made it to Admiral.
    • 5. Lando Calrissian: Billy Dee Williams ran a pretty sweet Cloud City.
    • 4. Luke Skywalker: How great did he look after seeing three films of Anakin?
    • 3. Darth Vader: The scariest villain of my youth.
    • 2. Han Solo: I love dudes in vests . . .
    • 1. Yoda: Give it up for the world’s smartest and coolest Muppet.
  • TOP TEN STAR WARS CHARACTERS OF ALL-TIME (2024)
    • 10. General Grievous: Dude can fight with four lightsabers at once.
    • 9. Rey: The granddaughter of Palpatine made The Rise of Skywalker (2019) more interesting.
    • 8. Obi-Wan Kenobi: How didn’t the coolest loner in the bunch make this original list?
    • 6. Poe Dameron: There’s a great history of handsome and brash pilots in the Star Wars Universe.
    • 5. Lando Calrissian: I didn’t think he could get any smoother than as portrayed by Billy Dee Williams, but then Donald Glover played his younger version.
    • 4. Princess Leia Organa: She’s one of the most layered characters in the Universe. She’s the rare politician that works to get things accomplished.
    • 3. Luke Skywalker: The whole Universe is centered around the gravity he created almost 50 years ago. It’s something when you measure all the other shows and films against the timeframe that he became our hero.
    • 2. Han Solo: You can flip flop #2 and #3 daily and I wouldn’t have an issue. I might be one of the few that enjoys his origin film.
    • 1. Yoda: My only qualification of this ranking is that it’s for his puppet version and not the CGI versions. He’s the wise old Buddha of the Universe, and I love his nuggets of wisdom.
  • I am further behind on the Star Wars Universe than I was in 2009 when I created the initial list. I’ve lost track of the comic stories and latest animated and live-action series. The explosion of new characters has diluted the field to the point that I don’t bond with characters who I haven’t had time to appreciate. I appreciate the different genres of stories that the Universe is encompassing now. The Star Wars Universe hasn’t passed me by completely. It’s just more fractured.

1974 in Review

• September – The Shadow #6 (DC Comics) Cover and interior art by Mike Kaluta. Written by Dennis O’Neil. “My instinct says he isn’t! Do you care to quarrel with my instinct?” – The Shadow. Updated setting puts the Shadow up against drug smugglers.
• September 2 – A tornado touched down in the Bronx, New York, for the first time since records were kept.
• September 7 – TV Guide (Sept. 7-13): These were my favorite issues. The biggest competition is on Friday nights with new shows like Planet of the Apes (CBS), Chico and the Man (NBC), The Rockford Files (NBC), The Texas Wheelers (ABC), The Night Stalker (ABC), and Police Woman (NBC).

What the Hell Did I Put in My Mouth?

“Walls windows trees, waves coming through
You be in me and I’ll be in you
Together in eternity
Some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me” – Bruce Cockburn

Stay Hard

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