From the Couch Hole: I’m Not Too Proud to Shout It

Previously on FTCH, the limey gave us an ode to a boy and chocolate Chex. The Penguin was wicked in the black cab over a batch of late-night ramen. This week was a catch-up after a relaxing Thanksgiving week. I’ve started coaching my basketball teams, and that adds a couple of practices a week plus Saturday games. This week this old heart of mine is spirited in perpetuity. The wolfs blitz to Burger King for a fried pickle ranch Whopper. Remember, you’re in good hands with FTCH.

Pop Culture Ephemera

• Spirited (2024) (Directed by Sean Anders): “He’s like the perfect combination of Mussolini and Seacrest.” – Present. My first concern before even starting this film was that A Christmas Carol is at best a 70-80 minute story. This film clocks in over two hours, and bloated is a perfect description of how it felt. Hollywood can’t help itself; it’s required to do a version of the Dickens classic every few years. Will Ferrell is an obvious choice because he’s already proven to be a holiday evergreen in Elf (2003). Who else should star with him in this musical? Ryan Reynolds, of course, based upon his musical efforts in Deadpool. I will give the movie credit for one thing: everyone involved bought into the musical thing. They can’t sing well, but they act like they can. Everyone seems to be having a good time. I can’t hate on what started out to be one of the worst Christmas films of the past 20 years. In the end, it needed 30 or more minutes trimmed, but I was charmed at the non-singing moments

Buy Elf Blu-ray

• Severance – “In Perpetuity” (2022) (S.1 E.3) (Apple+): “My outie wouldn’t do that.” – Helly. Other than The Sopranos (HBO), this is probably the show that more people tell me “you have to watch” than any other show. I’m impressed so far. This episode is interesting in that there are important clues to the history of Lumon when the crew goes on a field trip to the Perpetuity Wing. So much of what I love about the show is the visual language. There are mirrors and doubles everywhere to show the duplicity of the lives of the characters. There is an importance to the use of colors regarding the innies and outies. Each represents a side of the character, set against a clean white background. I’m willing to have patience only a third of the way into the first season. Questions answered only bring up further questions, but not in a Lost (ABC) vibe that had me worried at first. I am intrigued, if only to figure out what happens with Helly.

Buy The Isley Brothers – Early Classics CD

• Isley Brothers – “This Old Heart of Mine (Is Weak for You)” (1966) (from Early Classics): “Maybe it’s my mistake to show this love I feel inside / ‘Cause each day that passes by you got me.” If there is a center of the center of Motown, it could be this Holland/Dozier/Holland song from 1966. It’s from one of Motown’s best years, and this song has everything that makes Motown beloved. There’s a dance beat, wonderful lead vocals with solid backing, a sweet saxophone solo in the middle, and it’s about romantic love. It’s near impossible to not bop your head and toe tap along to this classic.

• Wolfs (2024) (Directed by Jon Watts): “You take a job, you give your word, and that word’s the measure of a man.” – Pam’s Man. The first rule of filmmaking is that you can’t make a film where George Clooney and Brad Pitt have to pretend to not know each other. As has been proven in the Ocean’s franchise, these two have undeniable chemistry. They play “cleaners” who have different bosses who are pulled into an incident at a hotel by Amy Ryan who plays an up-and-coming DA in the city. It’s not a spoiler to say that the “body” isn’t dead, that’s in the trailers and in the first few minutes of the film. The ensuing plot with gangsters, drug deals, and chases isn’t funny enough to be a comedy and isn’t thrilling enough to be a thriller. It’s what you would call a Clooney and Pitt production where everything is safe and just entertaining enough to keep your attention, but it’s already fading from my memory. The characters don’t have names so that you can think of each of them as a sum of all of their previous characters in one catch-all story.

• Blitz (2024) (Directed by Steve McQueen): “Where’s my bleedin’ son?” – Rita. When you have an incredible filmography like director Steve McQueen, by default, some film has to be at the bottom of your list. This isn’t terrible by any means. Saoirse Ronan has been one of my favorite actresses since Ladybird (2017). She adds charm and lends authenticity to this being a WWII-set film. Elliott Heffernan as her son, George, is the character that drives the plot, although there are some distracting subplots that feel like they were supposed to play larger parts. His acting is impressive, especially as much of his work is done through his eyes not words. The film just doesn’t get over the hump to be a film you are invested in emotionally. There are musical numbers and odd flashbacks that take the viewer out of the present which should be very suspenseful. There should be the threat of Nazi bombs falling at any given moment. This won’t win any awards, but in the hands of McQueen, it’s a quality film. I fear it just bit off a huge subject that needed more nuance, and you can’t address the class inequalities and then introduce racism as a side topic. Maybe I expected too much.

Best of the Rest

• Rod Stewart teamed up with Ronald Isley in 1989 to release this cover of the Isley Brothers original. The pop sound of 1989 is reflected in the elevation of the saxophone in the mix and the soulless percussion that dominated all songs that year. I don’t love this version. I like Rod Stewart quite a bit. The song had been covered by a number of Motown artists, and I don’t know that Rod did much that others hadn’t already done for the tune. What’s important to note is how ubiquitous this song was in the holiday season of 1989. It was on at every mall, every radio station, and featured in television shows and commercials. That might be partially why I rebelled against it.

• The Chevy 2023 Holiday Commercial, “A Holiday to Remember”, was better. It was the one where the granddaughter takes her forgetful grandmother on a ride through the town where she was raised. This attempt to recapture the magic and flip the script a bit is decent compared to the competition so far this year. It is structured around a young man taken for a ride by his father. The young man wants to be like his grandfather who has passed. It doesn’t hit the emotional bits of 2024 but it’s a feel-good ad for the American truck.

• Entertainment Weekly (3/28/97): “Best Commercials of All-Time” #41 – Volkswagen “Ronnie and Jonnie”: The VW ads of the era pre-1972 were cool and wry and appealed to the Love Generation of the ’60s. By 1972, it was time to move on to the next generation. These Tin Pan Alley ditty artists were clever and funny and hinted at the creative ads to come. This is a good ad campaign, and I can’t argue with it as a top ad of all-time.

Sunday Morning Tuneage Flashback

• On the Sunday Morning Tuneage from 6/21/2009, it was Father’s Day, and I had two baseball games in two different directions for the boys. I hated having to make those choices, but I wouldn’t trade those days for the world. Baseball season used to begin in early March, go until almost July, and give us time until football started in August. My #46 Favorite Film of All-Time was The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) by Alfred Hitchcock. It wasn’t the 1934 version, which in the ensuing years, I might argue is the better film. This isn’t a bad choice for a Top 100 film, but honestly, it’s pushing the boundaries and not a #46, although this placement was due to my criteria of it having to air on television at the week of my ranking. The Superstars (ABC) returned to television, but it wasn’t for long. The Next Doctor (BBC) was the Christmas Special of 2008, finally airing on U.S. television. How times have changed. The list of the week might not have changed much because the topic is specific to an era that might not be applicable any longer.
  • BEST TV-TO-MOVIE ADAPTATIONS OF ALL-TIME (2009)
    • 10.  Serenity (2005).  Firefly didn’t capture my attention until I saw the film.
    • 9.  The Brady Bunch Movie (1995).
    • 8.  South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999).  Talk about taking it to another level.
    • 7.  The Addams Family (1991).  Really tried to be faithful to the spirit and I appreciate that.
    • 6.  The Simpsons Movie (2007).  Sorry, I’m partial to the show, and I loved sitting in the theater for it.
    • 5.  Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992).
    • 4.  Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983).  Despite all the “background” issues – it was so much fun to watch remade episodes in the theater.
    • 3.  The Fugitive (1993).
    • 2.  The Muppet Movie (1979).  Turned the conceit of the show into something that was worthy of multiple stars and the big screen.
    • 1.  Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982).  It’s really just a big screen continuation which made it even cooler.
  • BEST TV-TO-MOVIE ADAPTATIONS OF ALL-TIME (2024)
    • 10. Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996): The rare movie to come out while the show is still in production. The riff on This Island Earth (1955) is a top-shelf version of the same things they do on the show.
    • 9. The Fugitive (1993): I don’t find the story inherently better than the television series. What makes this film is the casting of Tommy Lee Jones as Gerard.
    • 8. Serenity (2005): Very rarely does a show that only aired eleven episodes get turned into a film. Firefly (FOX) (2002) has found more success in the years since it aired than it had during its run. This film understands how best to translate just a few episodes to a movie format.
    • 7. Star Trek (2009): J.J. Abrams had a challenge when he recast the popular series. He made a bunch of correct choices, starting with Chris Pine as a perfect reimagining of James T. Kirk.
    • 6. The Naked Gun (1988): The Police Squad! (ABC) (1982) show was even shorter than Firefly, but as a sitcom, less interested in character development. This movie is revered enough that there is a likely remake debuting next year with Liam Neeson as Leslie Nielsen.
    • 5. The Untouchables (1987): Brian DePalma’s direction and the Ennio Morricone score made this so much more than the television show attempted to portray. The David Mamet script outdid anything that could have been included in early television. In this case, the television show only served as a jumping off point for the film.
    • 4. The Simpsons Movie (2007): It was so much fun to see what the writers and producers could do with a bigger budget and longer story. It presaged that later Under The Dome (CBS) (2013).
    • 3. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982): Not only was it a sequel to an episode of the show, but it fulfilled so much of the promise of the original series that it has become beloved all on its own as a great science-fiction film. The script hits all the right emotional moments.
    • 2. Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018): This is another rare case where the movie adaptation turned into a franchise so successful that the television series is mostly an afterthought. Every time I think the films have done all they can do, one like this shows that there still is an audience for non-stop thrills on the big screen.
    • 1. The Muppet Movie (1979): The meta transition to television show to movie about how the group got together to create their show that’s portrayed in the television show is more than just your run of the mill origin story. There’s heart, comedy, big stars, and songs just to make this a worthy trip to the theater every time you see it showing.
  • This list was limited to actual television shows and not skits from shows to movie adaptations. I left off movies that feel only like a compilation of episodes. They can follow the same structure, but there should be more to it than just the same vibe of the show. I am sad to leave off adaptations of Twin Peaks, The X-Files, and The Addams Family.

1974 in Review

• December – Action Comics #442 (DC Comics): “It was so hot, I saw The Flash chasing Mirror Master– And they were both walking!” – Steve Lombard. Cover by Nick Cardy. Written by Cary Bates. Art by Curt Swan/Mike Grell. Notable for being the last 20-cent issue of Action Comics. Superman saves a TV host named Johnny Nevada. In the backup story, the Atom goes back to the Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds broadcast to get the missing page from a diary.
• December 5 – The Birmingham Americans defeated the Florida Blazers 22-21 in the first and only World Bowl for the Championship of the World Football League in front of 32,000 fans. The league would fail midway through the next season.
• December 16 – Sports Illustrated. Rick Barry was off to a great start. The Golden State Warriors would finish first in the Pacific Division. He would average 30.6 points per game from the Forward position and shoot an amazing .904 from the free-throw line. The Warriors would defeat the Washington Bullets in the NBA Finals with Rick Barry taking the MVP of the Finals with 29.5 points per game.

What the Hell Did I Put in My Mouth?

“Always with half a kiss
You remind me of what I miss
Though I try to control myself
Like a fool I start grinnin’ ’cause my head starts spinnin’ ’cause I
I love you.” – Isley Brothers

Stay hard.

Shawn