From the Couch Hole: I Get Up and Nothin’ Gets Me Down

Previously on FTCH, the sharper cuckoo wasn’t sunny because he was lost without your love. The three aliens played a love song for cinnamon toast crunch waffles. This week was the first of two very busy work weeks. The best difference being not having to drive home after sunset while being so tired. This week we jump at the alien resurrection. We speak no evil about the bad monkey, but we sing sing about Korean-style Ruffles. Remember, FTCH, the ones who get it done.

Pop Culture Ephemera

• Sing Sing (2023) (Directed by Greg Kweder): “We here to become human again and enjoy the things that is not in our reality.” – D Dan. Prison films are almost always about escape. It can be a physical escape (Shawshank Redemption) or in this case how you escape the effects of incarceration on your psyche. Based upon a true story of prisoners who participate in a drama program, it doesn’t fall into the cliches you would expect. It doesn’t fit the Hollywood mold. And because of that, I loved it. With rare exception, the film takes place in the claustrophobic walls of the Sing Sing prison. How do you deal with that loss of freedom and hope? Colman Domingo is amazing as Divine G. What strikes me is that few lead actors would feel so comfortable letting others take the spotlight in scenes around them. It might seem to get a little off the straight line of the plot as the camera is allowed to just let scenes play out as they might. That’s what gives it an even bigger emotional impact. This is instantly making my Top Ten movies of the year.

Buy Bad Monkey book

• Bad Monkey – “The Floating-Human-Body-Parts Capital of America” (2024) (S.1 E.1) (APPLE+): “I can’t have a trial, Andrew. If certain things came out, it would ruin my life.” – Bonnie. Constant readers have slogged through six to seven of my reviews of Carl Hiaasen’s books. I’m a fan of his style and satire of Florida politics. I haven’t read this book yet, but from the very start, it could fit within the Skink Universe. Andrew Yancy is a suspended detective with questionable morals and a rebel against authority. I think Vince Vaughn is a good choice for the lead, despite reading many negative reviews about his performance. I have a little idea where this is headed based upon the arc of Hiaasen novels, and Vaughn is a good choice. His treatment of the real estate guy building a mansion next door is the sort of funny B-Reel story that make these books fun too. Narration can ruin a perfectly good series, but this is the rare example of a narrator that adds value to the experience. The episode featured two covers of Tom Petty songs, effective, and I’m guessing that this will be Bill Lawrence’s influence throughout.

Buy Van Halen – Best of Volume 1 CD

• Van Halen – “Jump” (1984) (from 1984): “And I know, baby, just how you feel / You got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real.” My connection to the songs of 1984 continues. There’s something aesthetically perfect about this video in the context of 1984. That first shot of David Lee Roth doing the splits and then his feathered hair flowing in slow motion, gives off the perfect vibe for the middle of the decade. This would be their first and last #1 hit. But seriously, hard-rock bands were not chart toppers until a short period of time in the last ’80s. This synth-driven song is a bit of a departure for the group. I like the late portions of the song when Eddie gets some solo time against the synth. Roth is the perfect “character” to front a rock band. It’s Van Halen playing in an empty room with David jumping around, and I feel like I’m right back in the early spring of my Junior year in High School.

Buy Alien Resurrection Blu-ray

• Alien Resurrection (1997) (Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet): “My mommy always said there were no monsters. No real ones. But there are.” – Ripley. Two hundred years into the future and Sigourney Weaver gets to play Ripley the Terminator. In this future, all of the stock characters are present, which sucks when one of them is Ron Perlman. Winona Ryder is the only one that gets to spread out a bit by being a bad ass as Call. In the end, it’s a wasted role for her as she becomes another emotionally flat character. The whole film is just that – flat. I was excited the director of City of Lost Children (1995) was taking a shot at these director-driven films. It ends up feeling like he bought all the supplies and someone else put them together. There’s a great cadre of actors that he has worked with before or have shown promise that all end up nothing more than typical horror film fodder. The sets have elements that could be really cool, but they have no life and don’t look lived in. Even the aliens give me a “womp womp” feeling. I’m glad to know that all future Alien films work backwards in the history of the franchise because this was a huge dead end.

• Speak No Evil (2022)(Directed by Christian Tafdrup): “Why are you doing this?” – Bjorn. If only the main characters, Bjorn and Louise, could have heard the music score playing when they first met Patrick and Karin, this film would have been over in five minutes. I’m torn on this film. It’s not a gore-filled horror film. It’s a tense film, almost to the point to being uncomfortable to watch in parts. There’s a satire of the overwrought desire to be polite in society (hence the “Speak No Evil” of the title). There’s another subtext of submissive Bjorn being attracted to the energy of the more dominant Patrick. Neither of these are completely pursued, leading to my frustrations at the end. The American remake is going to be interesting. There’s a very bleak ending that is the type that doesn’t play well in Hollywood.

Best of the Rest

• There are some excellent covers of Van Halen’s “Jump.” You should track down the Bruce Springsteen Live version. He makes it totally a Springsteen song without really losing the core appeal of it as a Rock song. I’m partial to the British group Aztec Camera who turned around a cover in 1984 that was a minor hit in the UK. Their guitar work here makes it feel much more like a love song.

• I like Oreos. I like Coca-Cola. I didn’t have the Oreos / Coca-Cola combination on my 2024 Bingo card. In just a matter of weeks (Sept. 9), we’ll have Coke-flavored Oreos and Oreo-flavored Zero Sugar Cokes. I’m a little more curious and excited about the cookies. We haven’t had the Coca-Cola flavor in other snacks recently. I’m going to be a patron of both to encourage more crossovers like this.

• Apple’s new ad encouraging accessibility in sport is powerful in the way that it juxtaposes athletes with abilities and disabilities. I’m always counting on Apple, Nike, and Gatorade to come up with our best athletic-related ads. This one doesn’t disappoint.

Sunday Morning Tuneage Flashback

• On the Sunday Morning Tuneage from 2/22/2009, Saturday finished the basketball season with Caleb’s team winning the league at 8-1-1 and Christian’s team fading down the stretch. The previous weekend I saw Coraline (2009) with Dee, and we both loved it. My #40 Favorite Film of All-Time was North by Northwest (1959). Hitchcock was not represented nearly enough on this list. This isn’t a bad entry, but it’s out of whack in the order of his films. It’s great but definitely a #80 more than a #40. The Academy Awards (ABC) were on and I was ignoring them because I hadn’t watched any of the nominated films. Lost (ABC) returned Walt. Dollhouse (FOX) was backing up on my DVR, and I should have been watching. The Top Ten of the Week was interesting, and I’m wondering if I’ve remembered anything to add to it.
  • TOP TEN MALL STORES OF ALL-TIME (2009)
    • 10. Wetzel’s Pretzels
    • 9. See’s Candies
    • 8. Structure: Are they around anymore? I used to love their jeans.
    • 7. Hot Dog on a Stick: Worst outfits ever. Ever. But that made it so entertaining.
    • 6. County Seat: It seems like we did most of my Back-to-School shopping here or Hudson’s.
    • 5. The Record Bar: My 2nd favorite store in the Crossroad’s Mall.
    • 4. Bath & Body Works
    • 3. Merry Go Round: This store always had the best soundtrack of any store in the Mall.
    • 2. Orange Julius: Mmmm, a Julius.
    • 1. Aladdin’s Castle: The only way to spend your day, with your pockets loaded down with quarters.
  • TOP TEN MALL STORES OF ALL-TIME (2024)
    • 10. Hickory Farms: It was a mall store, but it was like entering a red barn that smelled like cured meats. It was always a stop for free samples.
    • 9. K-B Toys: Until their bankruptcy in 2008, this was a fun stop, especially with my children.
    • 8. Waldenbooks: I spent hours on the floor in their horror section. It’s the site of my first Stephen King book purchase. Later merged into the Border’s brand and gone completely by 2011. Malls used to have at least two bookstores. This was superior to B. Dalton.
    • 6. Spencer’s: I still feel like I’m going to be asked to leave when I enter these.
    • 5. Suncoast Motion Picture Company: It wasn’t until these came along that you really thought you could build your own video collection like a video store. They actually had a pretty deep selection. I believe that they are still around, at least of a few years ago, at a few Mall locations.
    • 4. Yankee Candle: This is the reason I still ever walk into a mall. I’m a #1 Yankee Candle fan, so this isn’t breaking any news. Props to Wicks ‘N Sticks that preceded Yankee Candle in the mall scent arena.
    • 3. Structure: A spin-off of The Limited in 1989, this was my “style” for a majority of the 1990s. When it became Express Men in 2001, that was a sign for me to move on.
    • 2. Bath & Body Works: It’s the other reason I make a trip to the mall these days. They are particularly great in the Halloween season.
    • 1. Aladdin’s Castle: Still the most fond memories of my early teen years that coincided with the rise of the video-game industry. So many hours and great friendship bonding time while playing Phoenix, Tempest, and Centipede.
  • I stopped going to malls as a regular activity at some point around 2006. For much of my younger life, malls were a social center of our lives. It was easy to pass multiple hours reading books, browsing records, playing videogames, and just roaming the magical halls. The evolution was from West Main Mall to Maple Hill Mall to Crossroad’s Mall to Briarwood Mall. Then a move to California took me to South Coast Plaza and Fashion Island. Back in Michigan to Meridian Mall and the Lansing Mall, these all still offered ways to spend a bad-weather afternoon. We have Stonebriar Mall here in Frisco that is one of the few thriving malls remaining, and it does me good to see teens still hanging out there.

1974 in Review

• August – Weird War Tales #28 (DC Comics): Cover by Luis Dominguez. Written by George Kashdan. Art by Alfredo Alcala. The story inside is the “Isle of Forgotten Warriors”. I can’t find much about it, but this cover catches my eye. I passed over War Comics as a kid in favor of Batman and Superman. I missed out.
• August 20 – Gerald Ford nominated Nelson Rockefeller for Vice President despite the Republican Party wanting George H.W. Bush for the position. Bush would be compensated for the slight to be the first diplomat to China.
• August 10 – Preceded by the California Jam in April and the Ozark Music Festival in July, this August Jam in Charlotte, North Carolina marks the end of an era of huge concerts. This attracted between 200,000 and 300,000 attendees. The Eagles were supposed to join this stellar lineup but cancelled.

What the Hell Did I Put in My Mouth?

“Hello, hey you
Who said that?
Baby, how you been?
You say you don’t know
You won’t know until you begin” – Van Halen

Stay Hard

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