It’s an interesting challenge to write a review on a movie, or pair of movies, when the liner notes in the booklet describe them as “not … good on any conceivable level.” Because though both these “baffling films” (another quote from the booklet) are basically terrible, I’ve seen many less entertaining okay films. You just have to have the right mindset.
Buy Born a Ninja / Commando the NinjaAnd for Born a Ninja and Commando the Ninja, that mindset probably involves friends and alcohol. Because these movies are the sort of trash you watch when you have buddies and enough money for beer, but not to go out.
The odd thing is it’s difficult to separate them, because both films have essentially the same plot. An evil WWII Japanese scientist has a formula for some germ weapon, and some group (sometimes the Soviets, but nothing in these films plots is clear) want to buy it. So, he is routinely kidnapped by those who want to use the formula and those who want to destroy it. Also, the movies are set somewhere in contemporary (as of 1988) Asia.
There are ninjas. There are white guys. There’s a pair of martial-arts girls, one who occasionally wears Confederate-flag shorts. The ninjas are opposed to the Chinese martial artists who use the ancient Chinese secret of “hocus pocus.” This mainly involves holding up pieces of paper which either burst into flames or make the magician do something weird.
It’s trash. It’s obvious trash. The movies are apparently cobbled together from a TV show that never aired. Even the presentation in this release is questionable since it places Born a Ninja as the first film when it seems to be a sequel to Commando the Ninja. Not that the stories have enough coherence to make that a real issue.
But damn it, there’s some sparks here. There are numerous fights and chase scenes… and they aren’t awful. They look like they were shot on no budget, but the performers often have impressive physical skills. And, despite the terrible visuals (this is a shot-on-video affair) the direction is competent. Not in the dramatic scenes, which are universally awful, but some of the fights have interesting compositions and make the best of a near-zero budget.
Born a Ninja seems like much more of a film than Commando the Ninja, which is not saying too much. It has kind of a plot and is much more bizarre. Commando the Ninja is largely about people driving to a place and fighting each other. Born a Ninja has better fights, and an incredibly bizarre sequence where a character (I do not remember any of their names) has a five-minute confrontation with a desk shrine. That’s a sizable chunk of a 90-minute movie. Also, he apparently nearly loses.
These are curiosities from the VHS era. I can think of a thousand better uses of a person’s time than watching these “movies.” But I cannot pretend I was not entertained by some of the fights and the ninja antics. Even some of the obvious reverse video footage (where ninjas were pretending to climb trees they were clearly falling down) were well done. You can’t describe anything as good, or even coherent. But I’ve seen several direct-to-video American movies that had less to offer.
Born a Ninja / Ninja Commander has been released on Blu-ray by Visual Vengeance. Both features were shot on video, which limits the quality of their presentation. Audio extras on disc include a commentary for each film: one by Justin Decloux and Will Sloan on Commando the Ninja, and one with Justin Decloux on Born a Ninja. Video extras include “The Essential Godfrey Ho” (11 min), on the ninja movie director; “The Law Chi Touch” (12 min); an interview with actor Kwan Chung (8 min); trailers, image galleries, and a booklet with an essay by C. J. Lines.
