I suppose being an depressed asthmatic epileptic is something of a load unto itself for a college coed with dreams of being an actress. Now, try tossing in the discovery that your parents aren't really your parents after all — and you are, in fact, the result of a botched abortion. Not exactly an uplifting thought, eh? I suppose things could get worse, of course — and you could actually be some thinly-disguised plot point of a rotten, boring pro-life Christian propaganda flick that surely escaped from some sort of kooky Conservative Hell. Well, that's about the gist of October Baby, a 2011 party line drama from Christian filmmakers Andrew and Jon Erwin.
Poor Hannah (Rachel Hendrix). Not only has she found out her folks adopted her, but she also has had the life-altering bombshell of learning her birth mother tried to shove her out prematurely — which resulted in her being a depressed asthmatic epileptic. Of course, it's easy to see why Hannah's birth mum didn't want to deal with her in the first place: not only is she a whiny little drama queen, but she's a prudish good little Christian girl to boot. But that doesn't stop Hannah's ragtag group of white, God-fearing friends from taking her to the town of her birth on what starts out as a journey to find the woman who gave her up so long ago. John Schneider somehow got talked into appearing in this as Hendrix's adopted father, though I can't see it harming his career at this point in time!
Well, it starts out that way, at least. Naturally, being a Christian film, things turn out for the better for Hannah once a priest gives her a stern chatting to, and she learns to forgive. Lots of pro-Right, pro-life messages set to a shitload of crappy Christian tunes in this awful film that was produced by the folks at American Family Association — the same rightwing nut-jobs who not only once received a cease and desist letter from Marilyn Manson (!), but who also consider homosexuals to be rotten sinners with an evil agenda, and who believe Hollywood is full of brainwashing Jews who are just out to get your money and demoralize you in the process.
Ironically enough, October Baby is a brainwashing, demoralizing cash grab. It was made by members of God's chosen white race, though, so I guess the whole "greed" thing is OK, then, since it's in the name of the Lord.
Bloody hypocrites. The good folks at Fox Home Entertainment have saw fit to spread the good word of our good white Jesus by releasing this title to DVD and Blu-ray. The studio was kind enough to send me a check disc, so I can't dive into the A/V specs too terribly much (the film sucks, so what more do you want?). Special features include a selection of bloopers (yes, even Christians laugh), several deleted scenes, an audio commentary by the Brothers Erwin, and a featurette about the poor lass whose sob story inspired this film. There are probably more bonus materials included here, but I'm afraid I jumped the gun with snapping the disc they sent me in two and tossing it in the garbage before I could thoroughly view them all in all of their white, Christian, hate-mongering glory.