Bill Condon’s much-maligned film adaptation of the musical of the movie of the play of the novel arrives with considerable baggage further weighed down by his heavy-handed direction. Featuring a largely unknown lead in the gender-fluid star Tonatiuh and a high-camp turn by Jennifer Lopez, the musical attempts to marry a somber prison drama to flamboyant fantasy sequences, with predictably disastrous results. Like the CATS adaptation before it, the film is so delirious it commands full attention, even if viewers are perhaps left afterwards wishing they’d looked away.
Buy Kiss of the Spider Woman (2025)Diego Luna anchors the film as a political prisoner named Valentin, forced to share a cell with Molina (Tonatiuh), a window dresser locked up for public indecency. Unfortunately, Luna takes his anchor designation seriously, affecting such a morose, hangdog tone he makes his dour Andor/Rogue One work look upbeat by comparison. Faced with a bleak co-existence in their cell, Valentin begrudgingly submits to Molina’s incessant pleas to entertain him with a recounting of his favorite Hollywood musical.
It’s during those storytime sessions that the film shifts from the gloomy grays of prison to the vibrant, Technicolor dreamworld of Molina’s imagination. Here we encounter the star of the movie within the movie, screen diva Ingrid Luna (Lopez). She sings, she dances, she overacts, she’s fantastic in every way, making it impossible for Luna’s fantasy alter-ego, Armando, to resist falling under her spell. The pair get a high-concept song and dance number together, with Luna clumsily attempting to measure up to Lopez’s impossible incandescence on both the dance floor and a vocal duet.
As we follow Molina’s heartfelt reenactment of his favorite film, politically charged reality is deteriorating around the pair, putting them in a shared situation with inevitable romantic yearnings. Their temporary respites from reality offer them shared solace in the storm.
The key story remains intact, but Condon makes his presence known by taking the two sides to extremes. The prison is so terrible and stunningly devoid of hope it becomes unrealistic, while the musical interludes are amped up to such ridiculous heights that they’re more parodies of vintage Hollywood musicals than homages. Tonatiuh ultimately carries the film, a magnetic performance of an iconic role seemingly tailor-made for his particular strengths, and the principal beacon of pure light in an otherwise muddled, bizarre adaptation.
The 4K UHD disc presents the film in 1.85:1 aspect ratio in Dolby Vision with 3840 x 2160p resolution, along with Dolby Atmos and DTS sound options. Those technical ideals are used to maximum advantage in the fantasy musical sequences, with absolutely stunning and deeply saturated colors and full-spectrum sound. The combo pack also includes a Blu-ray disc of the film, which is also the repository for the package’s slight bonus features, amounting to a deleted scene, a teaser, and the theatrical trailer. It’s not hard to imagine that much more content was likely produced for potential fan fervor, before being abandoned after the film’s icy theatrical reception.
While no prior knowledge is required of the story’s multiple past incarnations, those familiar with its origins are likely to be most dissatisfied with this adaptation. There are bright moments, mostly via Tonatiuh’s aching soulfulness and J-Lo’s ultra diva showmanship, but Condon never gets a grasp on the humanity of the piece, reducing it to a simple battle between the darkness of prison and the searing brightness of fantasy, with nobody coming out a winner.
