From the Couch Hole: I’ll Wait Out of Time with You in My Heart

Previously on FTCH, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah vs. the legend of Ochi was to see who was looking for #1. The real winner was Hayduke who got loaded nachos and all-dressed chips. This week was one of those “can we just be done with summer” here in the South. I’m excited to move somewhere with actual seasons. Dropping in for a lunch with some old friends was the best news of the week. This week on the road to Gandolfo the monkey heard the rhythm divine. The Time Lord took a long walk to sugar-cookie cupcakes. Remember, FTCH for when it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

Pop Culture Ephemera

• Robert Ludlum – The Road to Gandolfo (1975) (Published by Bantam Books): “Odd-looking, rotund prelate was a marvelous raconteur.” I was a fan of Robert Ludlum books when I was younger. I read The Bourne Identity (1980), The Holcroft Covenant (1978), and The Matarese Cycle (1979). I was unaware of this novel since it was written and published initially under a pen name, Michael Shepherd.
  
  I’m surprised this hasn’t been adapted as a streaming miniseries. General Mackenzie Hawkins is the real-life version of a John Wayne-esque war hero. He defaces a Chinese monument just as the Vietnam War is ending. He is saved by Army lawyer, Sam Devereaux. Upon returning to the United States, Hawkins ropes Devereaux into a complex plan to kidnap the Pope for ransom. There are some hilarious situations, the plot moves along quickly without complexity, and the supporting characters, especially Hawkins’ four ex-wives, would translate well to television. It’s a madcap adventure story that isn’t amazing, but it’s a well-paced, fun summer read.

Buy The Road to Gandolfo

• Doctor Who – “The Trial of the Time Lord: Part 8 aka Mindwarp: Part 4” (1986) (S.23 E.8) (BBC): “Now, I am she, alive within this oh so wonderful, wonderful frame, not that cold-blooded reptile thing. It must, must die.” This season with the Sixth Doctor (Colin Baker) on trial on Gallifrey and the season told as flashback during the trial has been inconsistent at best. The four-part Mindwarp serial is a mess on many levels. It reminds me of some of the earlier stories that just didn’t have four episodes of material. The main problem here is how current companion, Peri (Nicola Bryant) is dispatched. I’ve enjoyed her time with the Doctor, even if their bickering grew tiresome at points. The writers treated her as eye candy only for many of her early episodes. The ending for her character just feels disrespectful.

Buy Doctor Who: Colin Baker: The Complete Season Two Blu-ray

• Yello – “The Rhythm Divine (feat. Shirley Bassey)” (1987) (from One Second): “So won’t you come close / Bring this to an end.” The Shirley Bassey vocals for the Swiss electronic music group, Yello, give this a lost Bond-movie-theme feel. Add the sound effects of a couple of explosions and you could fool me that I just forgot about this being in a Roger Moore film. This era was ripe with older female vocal artists joining with electronic artists for singles. It wasn’t unusual to hear Dusty Springfield, Eartha Kitt, or Liza Minnelli showing up on artists like the Pet Shop Boys. This is one of my favorites because it’s the band twisting their format to fit the singer more than trying to slot the singer into their electronic sound.

• The Monkey (2025) (Directed by Oz Perkins): “Everybody dies. Some of us peacefully and in our sleep, and some of us… horribly. And that’s life.” – Lois. This isn’t going to end up on a list of one of the best Stephen King adaptations. It probably won’t end up in the Osgood Perkins top films when his career is done. There were many more elements to like in his Longlegs (2025). That said, this isn’t a horrible film. The creative killings are up there with the Final Destination franchise. The acting, especially the twins with Christian Convery as children and Theo James as adults, is good. It’s hard for horror films to ride the “humor and scary” line. This film falls down when it tries to be serious. The Final Destination series engages because it’s not just the creative deaths but how the characters will survive them. This film makes it clear that there is no escaping the curse of the monkey. The film takes a simple haunted toy story and expands to a world where Osgood Perkins continues to remind us the bleak message “Everyone dies.”

Buy The Monkey Blu-ray

• The Long Walk (2025) (Directed by Francis Lawrence): “You walk as long as you can. But sometimes the body won’t listen. For some, your heart will stop. For others, your brain.” – The Major. Not only is 2025 the Year of King, but we’re getting a perfect sampler platter of the variety of genres that he has explored in his career. This isn’t the straight horror of Welcome To Derry (HBO), the comic horror of The Monkey (Theaters), the touching humanity of The Life of Chuck (Theaters) or the paranormal espionage of The Institute (MGM). This is from his early Bachman novels that bore influences of dystopian novels and science fiction of the era including heavy parts Phillip K. Dick and Robert Heinlein. The Long Walk is easy to write off as a simple authoritarian-punishment film. Published in 1979, this functions in print as a symbolic journey of drafted soldiers in Vietnam. In 2025, the dystopian future is more a call to how we treat our younger generation.
  
  The book was able to spend more time with each character. That made the loss of some characters to be emotionally shocking. Concentrating the focus on four main characters takes away some of the drama as we approach the finish. The pacing is better than the book, and I appreciate that they kept just about every major beat of the novel. The award for the Best King Movie of the Year was already handed out earlier this summer, but I think this is one of those tense films that will have fans for years to come.

Buy The Bachman Books paperback

Best of the Rest

• The film that I’ve always dreamt that Wes Anderson would direct is coming to us with probably my second choice of director. It’s hard to put Richard Linklater in a box as a director. Nouvelle Vague is a reimagining of the early days of Jean Luc Godard and the French New Wave. I was curious how the casting would be, and I’m happy to report that it looks pretty great. This comes to theaters on October 31st and hits Netflix on November 14th.

• Entertainment Weekly (3/28/97): “Best Commercials of All-Time” #3: American Tourister “Gorilla” (1980) “When it’s out of your hands, it’s out of your hands.” Don McLeod made a convincing ape. I believe that I was probably 10-15 viewings into it as a 12-year-old before I figured it was a costume. It’s an effective ad, but you wonder if today, the baggage-handler union wouldn’t have something to say. More than getting their luggage, it’s an ad to encourage carry-on luggage only.

• I have always found this to be one of the more odd movie tie-in, advertising spokesperson commercials. Robert Redford starred in Downhill Racer (1969), obviously about a downhill skier. The Burger King ad shows a skier getting in lots of accidents and then ends with a reveal of Robert Redford as the skier. I’m still not sure 56 years later how that was a good promotion for either. The ski accidents were a body double, and I’m not even sure that Redford has ever had a Whopper.

Sunday Morning Tuneage Flashback

• Sunday Morning Tuneage from 11/15/2009, the Bourdo football season was over as Little Elm high school exited the playoffs in round one. Never fear, Caleb started basketball season with a two-point loss that I still remember coaching today. I was doubtful about the success of the remake of The Prisoner (ABC), but was cheering for V (ABC) and Fringe (FOX) (that needed to be moved away from the Thursday juggernaut of NBC). The Top-Ten list was a continuation of the past few weeks and easily my favorite. Fox would take some great chances, but they were just as quick with the cancel button.
  
  My #87 Top TV Show of All-Time was Prison Break (FOX) (2005-2017): This show is partially a product of necessity and its era. FOX needed a Monday night show for when 24 wasn’t airing. They also wanted another show like 24 or Lost (ABC) that functioned like a serial to keep viewers coming back. The first season was a classic prison break, the second became The Fugitive, and the third was where the wheels came off as a repeat of the first season. The fourth could have found an audience as an espionage story, but by then FOX had moved it to Fridays, essentially giving up on it. I don’t even remember the fifth season. It’s funny that by 2009, a failure of a series was still getting 5 million viewers a week which would make it a bonafide hit today. This probably doesn’t hold up for me now enough to make the Top 100, but I loved this cast and fondly remember watching it on Monday nights with the family.
  
• SHAWN’S FAVORITE SHOWS THAT FOX CANCELLED IN TWO SEASONS OR LESS (2009)
  • 10. Firefly (2002)
  • 9. The Ben Stiller Show (1992-1993)
  • 8. Reunion (2005)
  • 7. The Loop (2006-2007)
  • 6. The Tick (2001)
  • 5. Get a Life (1990-1992)
  • 4. Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles (2008-2009)
  • 3. Action (1999)
  • 2. Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (1993-1994)
  • 1. Undeclared (2001-2002)
    
• SHAWN’S FAVORITE SHOWS THAT FOX CANCELLED IN TWO SEASONS OR LESS (2025)
  • 10. Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (1993-1994): Bruce Campbell starred in this western with futuristic elements and elements of Steampunk. It seems like I was alone watching this when it aired, but now people talk fondly like they supported it all along.
  • 9. The Ben Stiller Show (1992-1993): Breaking my rules a little. The original season on MTV was quite distinct from the season on FOX. Created and written by Stiller and Judd Apatow, this show had some absolutely hilarious sketches.
  • 8. The Lone Gunmen (2001): It’s definitely a “love it or hate it” show among X-Files (Fox) fans. I’m of the camp that thinks this series offers a good respite to the seriousness of the parent series. This would have run its course over a few seasons, but it definitely deserved to have that play out.
  • 7. The Tick (2001): Patrick Warburton made an interesting Tick. I loved the animated series, so I was a little reluctant to give this a chance. By the time it was cancelled, it had grown on me. Amazon would try this again in 2016, but I haven’t sampled that show yet.
  • 6. Firefly (2006): Little did I know when I made this list the first time that I would watch this series almost yearly from start to finish. The potential was here with Nathan Fillion really coming into the character by the end and a stellar supporting cast.
  • 5. Wonderfalls (2004): To be fair, no network has any idea what to do with Bryan Fuller shows. This was weird, even for FOX. In 2004, there just wasn’t the space for odd shows that there are today. FOX made the mistake of changing spots in the schedule and airing episodes out of order in a show that needed to be watched in order. It’s a shame that this show isn’t even on the streaming radar.
  • 4. Harsh Realm (1999): There are shows that I feel like I’m the only person who remembers them. It was developed by Chris Carter, based upon a James Hudnall comic book. There were issues that needed to be ironed out. The theory of people trapped in a VR world would be explored on other shows on FOX, but this one could have been a good three to four season story.
  • 3. Get A Life (1990-1992): This Chris Elliott sitcom was surreal. It’s got great production and writing (thanks to some folks who worked with Letterman). It was one of those FOX shows of the era that thrived on being weird.
  • 2. Undeclared (2001-2002): Poor Judd Apatow and television. He got the shaft from NBC with Freaks and Geeks. I thought this more traditional college comedy would find a bigger audience. FOX bailed on it before it had a chance.
  • 1. Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles (2008-2009): This is still such a shame. The first season got off to such a great start. It was one of the top-rated scripted shows of the debut season. Then they started to mess with the schedule and before you knew it, the budget didn’t match the ratings. I loved this cast with Thomas Dekker (John), Lena Headey (Sarah) and Summer Glau (Cameron/Terminator).

1975 in Review

• September – 1st Issue Special #6 – Dingbats of Danger Street (DC Comics): “I’ll get you two! I-I’ll let the air outta your heads!” – Non-Fat. Cover, written, and art by Jack Kirby. I love that art on the cover. It’s like Jack Kirby mixed with Will Eisner and a touch of R. Crumb. The Dingbats join other great teen groups from Kirby like the Newsboy Legion. The Dingbats are Good Looks, Krunch, Non-Fat, and Bananas. A Dingbats series was abandoned before it started, but the first issue was repurposed for this issue. The characters make some rare appearances in the DC Universe these days.
• September 30 – Home Box Office airs the “Thrilla in Manilla” between Ali and Frazier for their subscribers. It’s a huge success for new subscribers. Previously, big fights like this would be viewed on closed-circuit television or in theaters for premium prices.
• September 20 – Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell (ABC) debuts three weeks before the NBC show which will have to temporarily change its name to NBC’s Saturday Night (NBC). But just for a season since this show will fail miserably. Cosell tries to play it serious with this variety show despite having a stellar group called the Prime Time Players including Bill Murray, Christopher Guest, and Brian-Doyle Murray. In an oddity for 1975, no episodes of this famous failure seem to exist.

What the Hell Did I Put in My Mouth?

“You know that my tears have kept me awake
The longer you’re gone
I’ll hunger and shake
from Warsaw to Rome” – Yello